Last night, I attended an online lecture and meditation hosted by Dr. Gene Ang, PhD. The topic was Deconstructing the Self. In it there is the recognition of the multi-natured aspect of the Self. At the lowest level is the ego identity. At the highest level is the Higher Self, also referred to a Divine Self, Truth Body, I AM presence. In between these two are multiple aspects of a person’s being that contribute to the ego identity. One such aspect is what is referred to as the Causal body. Here we find aspects of a person’s life purpose. As I was on the call last night, during the final meditation, I spoke with the owner of the two community houses. He accepted my offer. I am so excited and scared at the same time. What am I doing? Am I crazy? He has a lot of stuff in his house, and so he is going to take time to clear these things out before we make the final sale, but things are definitely coming to fruition! Things are moving from the idea realm into the physical realm. It is amazing to see this vision taking form before my eyes. In the lecture, Gene talked about how our personality will cling to certain aspects of life and that will cause us suffering. He noted that it need not be just negative things, but clinging to positive things as well. Clinging to a job, or a material object, or even a plan, can cause someone to close the door to what is actually happening, and limit what is possible. I started to get a bit frustrated when Gene said that anytime you felt the "contraction" just RELAX, let go. For me this ego contraction most often takes the form of fear but also attachment to the outcome (including outcomes that already happened and did or did not go well). Even as he was talking it seemed like that couldn't be right. I have so much desire to see the vision of a positive, healthy community come true. I feel like it is my life's purpose. How can I just relax and let go? Wouldn't that be giving up? What I came to understand is that I can do my life's work without the ego attachment when I show up and hold the vision of a positive healthy, healing experience for all those who attend. When I do this in full presence of my highest self I can respond to the events around me with a kind of grace and perfect timing to bring about the best possible experience of learning and connection. Kindof like the experience of Flow, this takes place in a state of heightened cognition. This type of responsiveness can't be done through execution of my little plan. Even the best plan would fail to understand the complexity of any given situation that arises moment to moment. I have spoken to the idea before that I am not in charge of what is happening at the Art Garage. I don’t get to decide who shows up. I don’t get to decide how they will respond to my suggestions. I don’t have the power to control anyone. The Art Garage has a life of its own, and I am the one nurturing the direction through my vision of what I am intending to share with the world. That is a hard thing for most people, especially those in education who think, “you need to control your class.” We do not need to control, we need to trust our higher vision. And of course have very good boundaries!
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Abigail LarrisonEducator, Scientist and Art Maker. The purpose of all life is to spread joy. What brings more joy than making art? Archives
November 2023
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